On Sunday, August 30th, 2020, I had the privilege of baptizing my son Will. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints, we believe that baptism is an essential ordinance of salvation and required for entry into the kingdom of heaven. An ancient American prophet named Mormon taught that all those who are accountable should follow the Savior's example and be baptized.
Within the LDS church, eight is considered to be the age of accountability. Mormon taught that children younger than this are innocent and do not require baptism, nor do those who are unable to make decisions for themselves. Ever since Will was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in 2016, Ashley and I have wondered about Will's accountability and whether he would need to be baptized.
What we have learned in the past four years is that Will is a loving, tender-hearted boy who enjoys making others happy. He doesn't like it when he finds out he did something wrong and is often quick to apologize when we realizes he has made a bad choice. Will is also very intelligent but often lacks the ability to fully express his thoughts and feelings.
Earlier this year, Ashley and I met with our ecclesiastical leader, Bishop Jacobson, to discuss whether Will needed to be baptized and if so, how we might accommodate Will's needs. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, baptism is by immersion, meaning a person must be fully submerged as part of the ordinance. Will has an extreme fear of water getting in his eyes such that he rarely, if ever, puts his face underwater.
First, after discussing Will's unique situation and personality at length, the bishop explained that he felt like Will was likely not at a point where he could be considered fully accountable for his decisions. However, the bishop saw no downside to Will being baptized if it was something he wanted to do. As we pondered this together, Ashley and I wholeheartedly agreed.
The bishop further explained that there is some flexibility in some of the smaller details of the ordinance that might afford Will some comfort during the baptism. Namely, the bishop suggested that Will could wear goggles to prevent the water from getting in his eyes or a nose plug to keep water from going up his nose. While these items are traditionally not used by most who receive baptism, there are no specific policies or rules that prohibit them.
Shortly after this meeting with the bishop, the COVID-19 pandemic reached the United States and the rest of the world. Soon, we were unable to meet in our regular Sunday meetings and began to hold church services as a family at home. In a way, this was a blessing to be able to work more with Will one-on-one to teach him about baptism and prepare him for the ordinance.
As Will's 8th birthday approached, we became anxious about how Will would be able to actually be fully immersed in the water. The pandemic had made it nearly impossible to enroll Will in formal swimming lessons that might help him. Thankfully, some friends of ours offered the use of the artificial pond they had made in their backyard.
Baptisms are typically performed in a purpose-built font within church buildings. Due to restrictions in the state of Oregon, we would be limited in who could attend the ordinance in person if we chose to use the font. Instead, we decided to have the baptism at the pond where we had been practicing. In a way, this would be even better because Will wouldn't have to practice in one body of water only to encounter a wholly unfamiliar one when the time came for the actual baptism.
Multiple times throughout the summer, Ashley took Will and Felicity to the pond to swim and become familiar with the surroundings. For the most part, Will wore inflatable arm floaties and goggles while swimming in the water. At times, there were other kids swimming in the pool and Will seemed unfazed by their occasional splashing.
When possible, I joined Will in the pool and did what I could to help him overcome his fear of putting his face in the water. This included having him blow bubbles and float on his back. Although I had plenty of experience teaching swimming lessons as a lifeguard during the summer when I was in high school, Will presented an especially difficult challenge.
Several weeks ago, amidst this practicing, Bishop Jacobson visited our home to interview Will prior to the baptism. This is to ensure that anyone desiring to be baptized understands the ordinance and what is expected of them afterwards. Will was able to answer all the bishop's questions about the importance of making good choices, and how the baptism symbolizes the death and resurrection of the Savior. At the end of the interview, Bishop Jacobson said he felt like Will was ready and worthy to be baptized. When he asked if Will was ready, Will said "no" quite emphatically. The bishop smiled and said that whenever Will decided he was ready, he'd be there for the baptism.
After the bishop left, we talked with Will and eventually determined that his fear of his eyes getting wet was the main reason he said he wasn't ready. He agreed to do more practicing before baptism, which had been scheduled for the 30th and my parents were flying out here for. My parents made it clear that they were happy enough to visit even if Will ultimately decided he wasn't ready to be baptized while they were here.
The day before the baptism, I spent an hour in the pond with Will trying to get him to put his face under the water. I tried various different approaches but nothing quite worked. Eventually, Ashley promised him that he would get a new toy if he went underwater. That seemed to do the trick and he worked with renewed focus.
Traditionally, people being baptized are lowered backwards into the water and raised back up in a clear similitude of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. As I mentioned earlier, full immersion is the main requirement and the manner in which the person goes under is not as important.
Eventually, I devised a method for getting Will to go under the water that would allow us to override his fight-or-flight response. I had him stand in water nearly to his shoulders and then with one hand on his upper back and another on the top of his head, I forced him straight down underwater and brought him back up again.
Will was ecstatic. He was obviously happy about the new toy that he had just earned, but I could tell her was proud of himself for finally going completely under the water. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that it was possible to get Will fully under the water. Now I just needed him to be willing to do it again.
On Sunday afternoon, we drove to the pond for the baptism. Will's cousin Anthony who is 8 days older than him was also being baptized. Slowly members of Ashley's family joined us and my parents as well as members from Anthony's dad's side of the family. A few other friends were also on hand. With the venue being outdoors, everyone was able to socially distance themselves while participating.
Will was very excited to get into the water and finish the ordinance. He had requested some Spongebob Squarepants bath toys as a reward for going under the water again. As Will and I changed into white baptismal jumpsuits, I realized that his googles were not in the bag. At the last minute, Ashley drove home to retrieve them and returned before the service started.
After Anthony had been baptized by his father Wes, it was Will's turn. The bottom of the pond consists of a tarp and large smooth river rocks. Will found it uncomfortable to walk on the rocks, so I ended up carrying him into the water, which was VERY cold. After gradually carrying Will further into the water, I put him down in a spot that was deep enough for the baptism. I offered the baptismal prayer and then bent down to let him know that as soon as he was ready, I would push him under the water like we had practiced the day before.
Will started to talk about how cold the water was and how he felt scared. Before I could say anything, he began to sing a song that a character on the cartoon Little Einsteins sings when he gets scared. Although the song was a bit silly, it worked and Will was able to compose himself. We got into position, I took a deep breath, and forcibly pushed him fully underwater.
Everyone in attendance knew about Will having ASD and that being baptized would be a challenge for him. However, the only people who had witnessed us practicing the day before were Ashley and my parents. Most of the crowd looked on in stunned silence until Will came back up out of the water and happily declared, "I did it!" at which point there was an audible sigh of relief followed by laughter, spontaneous claps, and congratulations from the crowd.
Following baptism, the next important ordinance is receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands. I once heard an analogy that explains the relationship between these two ordinances. When a baby is born, two of the first things that the nursing staff does is wash the baby. They then wrap the baby in a blanket to keep it warm.
The ordinance of baptism is not only a symbol of death and resurrection, but also one of rebirth. The immersion in water is similar to the washing of a newborn baby and the Gift of the Holy Ghost is like a protective, warming blanket for the child. The Holy Ghost is often called The Comforter, which is also another word for a type of blanket. The Gift of the Holy Ghost helps those who have received the ordinance of baptism to make good choices. As such, it acts as a protector of sorts.
We went inside and while I helped Will change into dry clothes, I explained that next he would receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. He gasped and looked up at me and said "I am going to have the best friend in the world inside me!" I don't think I could have said it better myself.
Back outside, after Anthony had received Confirmation (another term used for receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost), it was Will's turn. I offered the prayer as Bishop Jacobsen, Will's Uncle Wes, my father and Ashley's father joined in placing their hands upon his head. Knowing Will's ability to sit still is limited, I tried to be concise as I completed the ordinance and pronounced a brief blessing upon Will's head. I made a point to tell will that his namesake (William Timothy) comes from my father (William) and my father-in-law (Timothy), both of whom were in the circle. To me, it was a special moment to have three generations of the family present for such an occasion.
Ashley's mother Cindy gave both Anthony and Will their own leather-bound scriptures embossed with their names on the cover. Knowing Will might be overwhelmed seeing hundreds of pages of text in one book, I flipped to the section that had maps and pictures of ancient Israel. Geography and architecture are both passions of Will's so seeing them made him happy and declared, "I am falling in love with this book!" Later that night, he even asked to sleep with the scriptures by his head like a stuffed animal.
I believe in a God who is out literal Heavenly Father who knows the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses as well as our challenges and limitations. I believe that Will is a truly special son of God and I feel blessed to be his father here on earth. While I may not be able to fully understand how Will's mind operates in this life, I take comfort in knowing that he conquered one of his biggest fears in order to follow the example the Savior Himself set in getting baptized.
13 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ, by baptism—yea, by following your Lord and your Savior down into the water, according to his word, behold, then shall ye receive the Holy Ghost; yea, then cometh the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost; and then can ye speak with the tongue of angels, and shout praises unto the Holy One of Israel. - Book of Mormon, Second Book of Nephi, Chapter 31, Verse 13
