Sunday, December 4, 2022

Disneyland 2022

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Back in January of 2020, we decided to plan a trip to Disneyland to take place in October of that year. After many different things happened to delay that trip, it finally happened last month. Rather than just share a few photos on Instagram, I thought I’d share a little more detail in a blog post.

Day 1
We left our house bright and early at 5am. After an hourlong drive to the Portland airport, and a shuttle bus ride from the economy lot, we finally arrived at the Portland airport terminal. The last time we traveled, Will had difficulty passing through the TSA checkpoint because of the high ceilings in that part of the terminal. He actually ran away from us twice as we prepared to pass through the metal detectors. When we finally made it through the checkpoint, a very helpful TSA agent told us to contact the airprot prior to our next trip for accommodation.
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I got in touch with the Portland TSA ahead of time and it made such a difference! We called a number when we got to the entrance of the security line and two TSA agents met us there and quickly whisked us through our own screening area. There was hardly any time for Will to even notice the ceilings. It made that part of the trip SO much better.

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The flight from Portland to Sana Ana was a breeze thanks to iPads, snacks, and a short 2 hour travel time.

Once in California, we met up with our friends Carter and Kelsee Stromberg. He and I were roommates in college and Kelsee and Ashley became friends when the Strombergs lived nearby in Virginia several year ago. A quick Uber from the airport to our hotel allowed us drop off our luggage and then it was on to the park!

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Our first “ride” of the weekend was to take the Disneyland Railroad around the park. It was a good way to ease into being in the “happiest place on earth” and get a feel for the scenery.

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Dumbo was also a huge hit with the kids, both of whom loved that they could control how high their elephants went on the ride. This was one of only three rides we went on more than one time while at the park.
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Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge was incredibly immersive. You genuinely feel like you are in Star Wars. Flying the Millennium Falcon was awesome but meeting R2-D2 made my inner child jump for joy.
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One thing we didn’t realize when we booked our trip was that it would be the first weekend of Christmas decorations being up all over the park. This meant that the holiday-themed “It’s a Small World” ride was open after the redecorating was complete.
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You'll notice in the above picture that Will wore his ear protectors for part of the day. We had them ready in his backpack for times when the ambient noise or music got to be too loud for him. It seemed that at any given time a parade was going by so it was helpful to be able to quickly shield his sensitive ears when needed.

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Our long day of traveling and having fun at the park proved to be a little overwhelming for Will as he had a meltdown shortly after it got dark outside so we called it a day and went back to the hotel.

Day 2

We woke up bright and early to make it to the park and get a full day in. This was the first of two days that Felicity insisted on wearing her Darth Vader costume from Halloween. Kids aren’t allowed to wear the mask part of costumes in the park but with her lightsaber in hand, it was obvious who she was dressed as.
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After taking our group photo at the entrance to the park, the Disneyland photographer gave us some inside info on when and wear to meet Darth Vader, resulting in this awesome photo op:

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Two of Will’s favorite characters are Pluto and Donald so we were thrilled to come across them right after we passed through the gates.

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Shortly after meeting Donald and Pluto (who were separated from the crowd by a barrier) we saw Minnie and Mickey emerge from a backstage area. Before we could stop him, Will ran ahead to greet Mickey and we got to see this funny moment:



We tried on some hats before trekking back to the Star Wars portion of the park to go on Rise of the Resistance, the newest Star Wars-themed attraction. 

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The ride was so awesome that we forgot to take ANY photos inside it. Instead, here we are with some droids.

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We spent a lot of time (and money) trying all sorts of awesome foods, many that were Mickey-shaped.

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We also took a ride on a ship…

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And watched a show in the Enchanted Tiki Room.

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Eventually, we hopped over to California Adventure where Cars Land was a big hit with the kids. Radiator Springs was fully decked out for Christmas and the marquee ride, Radiator Spring Racers, was a real thrill (especially Ashley, as you can see in the upper left).

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The lights and sound of California Adventure really came alive when the sun went down. Toy Story Midway Mania and the Little Mermaid ride wrapped up day 2 nicely.

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Day 3

Our last full day at the park saw us doing some splitting up. Carter and Kelsee took the kids back to Cars Land while Ashley and I rode on the Guardians of the Galaxy ride.

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As you can see in the photo below, Ashley did not like this ride. She said it was the worst thing she’s ever done in her life. I’d been on the ride before when it was the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror and I admit that it was a much more jarring experience this time around.
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Will and Ashley went to a theater showing old Mickey cartoons.

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While the rest of us rode on Star Tours and Felicity convinced me she needed ANOTHER light saber because she wanted one like Kylo Ren.

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I felt like we may have taken fewer pictures on day 3 but we definitely made sure to eat more treats than the other days.
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Day 4
Our last day in Disneyland did not include going into the park but we did go to breakfast at The Grand Californian Hotel and get the chance to interact with several of the characters.
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The trip back to Oregon proceeded quickly and uneventfully. Overall, this was a fantastic trip. Both kids had a great time and it was fun to see Carter and Kelsee. I highly recommend visiting Disneyland when the number of adults in your group is greater than the number of children.






Monday, October 3, 2022

Back to School

For those who follow me and Ashley on social media, you are probably familiar with how Will has been attending an autism therapy center for the last few years in lieu of public school. He ended up there during the 2018-2019 school year after his transition from kindergarten to first grade was, to put it lightly, a disaster.

During the previous school year, Will attended kindergarten for only half a day. He also had an aide with him at all times to help him stay on task. You can read a little more about that in my previous blog post: Being Flexible. This arrangement was effective and we considered his kindergarten year to be a success.

As Will began his first week of first grade, we discovered that the school district would not be able to provide a full-time aide for Will but rather an aide would check in on him from time to time and help as needed. It soon became obvious that this arrangement wasn't going to work; Will regularly tried to escape the school and would not remain seated in his classroom. Not only was his ability to learn impacted, but it was a distraction to the teacher and his classmates.

The staff at the school were committed to making things work, but with staffing limitations, they really did not have the numbers they needed to provide adequate help to Will and the other special needs students at the school. Ashley put forth a lot of effort to find a therapy setting that would be effective in helping Will develop the skills he would need to eventually thrive back in public school. That search led Ashley to Adventures with Autism, an ABA therapy center that provides help to children with autism, some in an academic-like setting.

In the three and a half years that Will has been receiving therapy at AWA, we have witnessed tremendous improvements in his behavior and self-regulating ability. Will no longer tries to escape places like home, school, or church. He also follows directions and knows how to regulate his emotions. Alongside these improvements in his behavior, Will has also become more articulate, and social, and expanded his academic capabilities.

This summer, one of the therapists at AWA suggested we start to consider transitioning Will back to public school. We always knew Will would eventually need to return to public school, but we had concerns about how such a transition would go. The failure of his time in first grade was still fresh in our memories.

When Ashley floated the idea to Will, he was very excited and encouraged us to have him make the transition sooner rather than later. Lots of prayer, fasting, e-mails, and a meeting with Will's "team" (including public school and AWA staff) led to Will making the transition back to public school a couple of weeks ago. On his last day at Adventures with Autism, Will had a graduation ceremony.

To say that Will is thriving at school would be an understatement. He LOVES his teacher and his new classroom. We live so close to the school that Ashley walks Will and Felicity to and from school every day. Next week Will starts taking lessons to learn how to place the double bass. He hopes to join the orchestra this year.

This is a very encouraging step forward for Will as he continues his autism journey. We are very thankful for countless family, friends, and professionals who have gotten him to this point.

Sunday, September 6, 2020

Will's Baptism




On Sunday, August 30th, 2020, I had the privilege of baptizing my son Will. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints, we believe that baptism is an essential ordinance of salvation and required for entry into the kingdom of heaven. An ancient American prophet named Mormon taught that all those who are accountable should follow the Savior's example and be baptized.

Within the LDS church, eight is considered to be the age of accountability. Mormon taught that children younger than this are innocent and do not require baptism, nor do those who are unable to make decisions for themselves. Ever since Will was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder in 2016, Ashley and I have wondered about Will's accountability and whether he would need to be baptized.

What we have learned in the past four years is that Will is a loving, tender-hearted boy who enjoys making others happy. He doesn't like it when he finds out he did something wrong and is often quick to apologize when we realizes he has made a bad choice. Will is also very intelligent but often lacks the ability to fully express his thoughts and feelings.

Earlier this year, Ashley and I met with our ecclesiastical leader, Bishop Jacobson, to discuss whether Will needed to be baptized and if so, how we might accommodate Will's needs. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, baptism is by immersion, meaning a person must be fully submerged as part of the ordinance. Will has an extreme fear of water getting in his eyes such that he rarely, if ever, puts his face underwater.

First, after discussing Will's unique situation and personality at length, the bishop explained that he felt like Will was likely not at a point where he could be considered fully accountable for his decisions. However, the bishop saw no downside to Will being baptized if it was something he wanted to do. As we pondered this together, Ashley and I wholeheartedly agreed.

The bishop further explained that there is some flexibility in some of the smaller details of the ordinance that might afford Will some comfort during the baptism. Namely, the bishop suggested that Will could wear goggles to prevent the water from getting in his eyes or a nose plug to keep water from going up his nose. While these items are traditionally not used by most who receive baptism, there are no specific policies or rules that prohibit them.

Shortly after this meeting with the bishop, the COVID-19 pandemic reached the United States and the rest of the world. Soon, we were unable to meet in our regular Sunday meetings and began to hold church services as a family at home. In a way, this was a blessing to be able to work more with Will one-on-one to teach him about baptism and prepare him for the ordinance.

As Will's 8th birthday approached, we became anxious about how Will would be able to actually be fully immersed in the water. The pandemic had made it nearly impossible to enroll Will in formal swimming lessons that might help him. Thankfully, some friends of ours offered the use of the artificial pond they had made in their backyard.

Baptisms are typically performed in a purpose-built font within church buildings. Due to restrictions in the state of Oregon, we would be limited in who could attend the ordinance in person if we chose to use the font. Instead, we decided to have the baptism at the pond where we had been practicing. In a way, this would be even better because Will wouldn't have to practice in one body of water only to encounter a wholly unfamiliar one when the time came for the actual baptism.

Multiple times throughout the summer, Ashley took Will and Felicity to the pond to swim and become familiar with the surroundings. For the most part, Will wore inflatable arm floaties and goggles while swimming in the water. At times, there were other kids swimming in the pool and Will seemed unfazed by their occasional splashing.



When possible, I joined Will in the pool and did what I could to help him overcome his fear of putting his face in the water. This included having him blow bubbles and float on his back. Although I had plenty of experience teaching swimming lessons as a lifeguard during the summer when I was in high school, Will presented an especially difficult challenge.

Several weeks ago, amidst this practicing, Bishop Jacobson visited our home to interview Will prior to the baptism. This is to ensure that anyone desiring to be baptized understands the ordinance and what is expected of them afterwards. Will was able to answer all the bishop's questions about the importance of making good choices, and how the baptism symbolizes the death and resurrection of the Savior. At the end of the interview, Bishop Jacobson said he felt like Will was ready and worthy to be baptized. When he asked if Will was ready, Will said "no" quite emphatically. The bishop smiled and said that whenever Will decided he was ready, he'd be there for the baptism.

After the bishop left, we talked with Will and eventually determined that his fear of his eyes getting wet was the main reason he said he wasn't ready. He agreed to do more practicing before baptism, which had been scheduled for the 30th and my parents were flying out here for. My parents made it clear that they were happy enough to visit even if Will ultimately decided he wasn't ready to be baptized while they were here.

The day before the baptism, I spent an hour in the pond with Will trying to get him to put his face under the water. I tried various different approaches but nothing quite worked. Eventually, Ashley promised him that he would get a new toy if he went underwater. That seemed to do the trick and he worked with renewed focus.

Traditionally, people being baptized are lowered backwards into the water and raised back up in a clear similitude of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. As I mentioned earlier, full immersion is the main requirement and the manner in which the person goes under is not as important.

Eventually, I devised a method for getting Will to go under the water that would allow us to override his fight-or-flight response. I had him stand in water nearly to his shoulders and then with one hand on his upper back and another on the top of his head, I forced him straight down underwater and brought him back up again.

Will was ecstatic. He was obviously happy about the new toy that he had just earned, but I could tell her was proud of himself for finally going completely under the water. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that it was possible to get Will fully under the water. Now I just needed him to be willing to do it again.

On Sunday afternoon, we drove to the pond for the baptism. Will's cousin Anthony who is 8 days older than him was also being baptized. Slowly members of Ashley's family joined us and my parents as well as members from Anthony's dad's side of the family. A few other friends were also on hand. With the venue being outdoors, everyone was able to socially distance themselves while participating.



Will was very excited to get into the water and finish the ordinance. He had requested some Spongebob Squarepants bath toys as a reward for going under the water again. As Will and I changed into white baptismal jumpsuits, I realized that his googles were not in the bag. At the last minute, Ashley drove home to retrieve them and returned before the service started.

After Anthony had been baptized by his father Wes, it was Will's turn. The bottom of the pond consists of a tarp and large smooth river rocks. Will found it uncomfortable to walk on the rocks, so I ended up carrying him into the water, which was VERY cold. After gradually carrying Will further into the water, I put him down in a spot that was deep enough for the baptism. I offered the baptismal prayer and then bent down to let him know that as soon as he was ready, I would push him under the water like we had practiced the day before.



Will started to talk about how cold the water was and how he felt scared. Before I could say anything, he began to sing a song that a character on the cartoon Little Einsteins sings when he gets scared. Although the song was a bit silly, it worked and Will was able to compose himself. We got into position, I took a deep breath, and forcibly pushed him fully underwater.

Everyone in attendance knew about Will having ASD and that being baptized would be a challenge for him. However, the only people who had witnessed us practicing the day before were Ashley and my parents. Most of the crowd looked on in stunned silence until Will came back up out of the water and happily declared, "I did it!" at which point there was an audible sigh of relief followed by laughter, spontaneous claps, and congratulations from the crowd.



Following baptism, the next important ordinance is receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands. I once heard an analogy that explains the relationship between these two ordinances. When a baby is born, two of the first things that the nursing staff does is wash the baby. They then wrap the baby in a blanket to keep it warm.

The ordinance of baptism is not only a symbol of death and resurrection, but also one of rebirth. The immersion in water is similar to the washing of a newborn baby and the Gift of the Holy Ghost is like a protective, warming blanket for the child. The Holy Ghost is often called The Comforter, which is also another word for a type of blanket. The Gift of the Holy Ghost helps those who have received the ordinance of baptism to make good choices. As such, it acts as a protector of sorts.

We went inside and while I helped Will change into dry clothes, I explained that next he would receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. He gasped and looked up at me and said "I am going to have the best friend in the world inside me!" I don't think I could have said it better myself.

Back outside, after Anthony had received Confirmation (another term used for receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost), it was Will's turn. I offered the prayer as Bishop Jacobsen, Will's Uncle Wes, my father and Ashley's father joined in placing their hands upon his head. Knowing Will's ability to sit still is limited, I tried to be concise as I completed the ordinance and pronounced a brief blessing upon Will's head. I made a point to tell will that his namesake (William Timothy) comes from my father (William) and my father-in-law (Timothy), both of whom were in the circle. To me, it was a special moment to have three generations of the family present for such an occasion.



Ashley's mother Cindy gave both Anthony and Will their own leather-bound scriptures embossed with their names on the cover. Knowing Will might be overwhelmed seeing hundreds of pages of text in one book, I flipped to the section that had maps and pictures of ancient Israel. Geography and architecture are both passions of Will's so seeing them made him happy and declared, "I am falling in love with this book!" Later that night, he even asked to sleep with the scriptures by his head like a stuffed animal.

I believe in a God who is out literal Heavenly Father who knows the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses as well as our challenges and limitations. I believe that Will is a truly special son of God and I feel blessed to be his father here on earth. While I may not be able to fully understand how Will's mind operates in this life, I take comfort in knowing that he conquered one of his biggest fears in order to follow the example the Savior Himself set in getting baptized.

13 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I know that if ye shall follow the Son, with full purpose of heart, acting no hypocrisy and no deception before God, but with real intent, repenting of your sins, witnessing unto the Father that ye are willing to take upon you the name of Christ, by baptism—yea, by following your Lord and your Savior down into the water, according to his word, behold, then shall ye receive the Holy Ghost; yea, then cometh the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost; and then can ye speak with the tongue of angels, and shout praises unto the Holy One of Israel. - Book of Mormon, Second Book of Nephi, Chapter 31, Verse 13